Arbit Zindagi...

Random thoughts...deep meaning...even deeper conviction!!

2010-08-06T16:23:00.002+05:30

I guess I have taken a rather long break from my writing responsibilities. Its 8’o clock, am still on my desk at Taipei, gazing at 101 from a distance. I apologize for my random way of putting thoughts onto paper, but there’s so much going through the mind, that I haven’t been able to absorb everything up till now.

As I change the bullet for the next paragraph, thinking where to take this post, whether I should be telling you about my recent business trip to Seoul, Taipei and HK, or should I traverse down the memory lane and pen down the change life has witnessed in a less than a years.

Random thoughts, too many questions, answer to some, follow-up questions to many. Of note, I have developed this habit of extensive reading, reading whatever I can lay my hands on, it may be friction, philosophy, drama or financial statements. Many of my prior convictions about people, things and places are being challenged.

On my flight from Seoul to Taipei, I met this old lady. Very old in age but very young in thoughts. A simple black coffee and the accompanied talk made me realize some of the truths about the life, the purpose of being born, caring for people and being cared in return. I always tried to quantify the duration of life, whether it was too short or too long. I guess, it’s a trivial quantification. Life being too short, because time just flies, but just too long, that you forget most of it by the time you get old.

Pretty recently, (about a year back though!!), I have a break-up with my girlfriend. How does it fit in here? Well, the entire years we guys were together flew like anything, however when I try to recall my day I broke –up, my last words to her, I just can’t remember. It all feels being happened so long ago. All I can manage to recall is that I have been single for quite some time now, yet somewhat afraid to mingle again, but happy being all for myself. No bed time calls, no morning alarms, no mid day follow-ups, but it all seems so fine. I guess I have become addicted to my work, my life and myself.

I have been missing out on many a things of late. I haven’t been to any social networking site for over a month, I haven’t switched on my fone for last 1 week, but I cant express how happy I am, living it this way.

Many random thoughts, answer to some, questions to many.

Thanks.

Random questions of a ravaged mind!

2010-05-15T14:49:00.000+05:30

"Is fighting for someone's happiness so important when the person doesn't care about you?
But do you know for sure the person doesn't care about you?

How much can a mind vacillate in a single day, from one extreme to the other based on the slightest whims of someone else?

Is independency of mind a mere illusion?

Do I really not know the answers to my questions or am I blocking them out?

Are these incorrigible acts of impetousness or just guises and guiles?
If the latter, are they designed for me or against me?

Is this not the height of fairlessness, that one party has to suffer, so that the other party does not have to, though it is for no perceptible fault of the latters?

Which pain is so strange that you have no intent to harm the person who has wrought it upon you?

Didn't Richard Bach say “I want to be very close to someone I respect and admire and have somebody who feels the same way about me.” and when he did, did he take into account this queer disease?

Isn't a guilt free mind the best gift a person can have but also the most dangerous of all weapons?

Can my mind no longer distinguish between a tainting taunt and a frank greeting?

MY first true concern for myself: Are these scars healable with time or are they permanent?

Why are yesterday's questions so different from today? and more painful?

When all's over can it be anymore peaceful?

“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.” How true!

Do I have permission to slap myself if I dole out advice unasked to someone who doesn't even care?

Why have I demeaned myself to such an extent, that I cannot look myself square in the mirror?

Is there an instant "Delete" key for relations?

Why is truth so undervalued in this world?

Is it so difficult to distinguish between incorrigibility and innocuousness?

Is ingratitude so in vogue?

Does pursuance cease to become an art when the opposite party has neither fear nor interest?

Is thinking about not giving a damn so much more difficult than actually not giving one?

Does my self respect has no respect for itself anymore?

Would you help someone in distress who does not remember you in joy?

Is pain so peaceful or is this peace painful?"

These and more traverse my mind.

Everything would be crystal clear only if you have ever fallen prey to the strangest malady of all!

If not, keep trying!!

Perception versus Reality

2010-02-01T00:25:00.002+05:30

Let me tell their story that no one else can hear.
How can someone's laughter bring me close to tears.
And you'll never know, because you're never there.

After what we've seen, can we close our eyes again?

Let me tell their story you won't think is true.
I have not forgotten so I'm sharing it with you.
For all the things we've known, what have we really learned?

Though I close my eyes the images remain.

Let me tell their story that now, everyone can hear.
And their story begins.
Again.

Source: Poem by Ferdinand Dimadura from "Chicken a la Carte"

P.S. Some incidents change the way you perceive reality. Today I had a date with one of them.

Thanks!

2010-01-30T11:46:00.002+05:30

Thanks
For guiding me into the rigmarole of finance
For helping me understand numbers better, linguistically and figuratively!
For being the first alcohol connoisseur I've known ('ave learnt a lot, mate)
For showing me how to get what is wanted, not matter what the odds
For those extended breaks and endless rants
For sharing countless nibbles and tidbits
For boosting my morale during those lows
For shaping each day into something worthy
For teaching me a thing or two about self control
For helping me uncover cupid, turning me stupid!?
For trying out my pointless programs and scripts
For your patience, wit and frankness
For just being my friend. Period.
Be happy wherever you go buddy. Or rather to quote Richard Bach in Illusions "No, I take that back. I wish, dear lonely messiah, that you find whatever it is that you want to find"

"The bond that links your true family is not one of blood, but of respect and joy in each other's life.
Rarely do members of one family grow under the same roof."

Daaru ---- Vanii!!

2010-01-23T00:03:00.000+05:30

1. Tu to Mera bhai hai...bhai !!!

2. You know i am not drunk...

3. Gaadi mein Chalaunga...

5. Tu bura mat maann bhai...

6. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu...

7. Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar....

8. Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya baat hai??

9. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai...

10. Ye mat samajh ki peeke bol raha hu...

11. Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee...

12. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae...lovely waala !!!

13. Baap ko mat Sikhao…

14. Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya...

15. Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna...

16. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye...Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???

17. Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee...shart laga saala aaj tu..

18. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska...

19. Saale teri bhabhie hai wo…bhabie ki nazar se dekh usko…

20. Yaar tu samjha kar.. wo tere layak nahi hai…

21. chal bhai tu kah raha hai to tere liye chodh diya usko.. aaj se wo teri…bana issi baat par ek – ek aur peg !!!

22. Tujhe kya lagta hai chadh gayi hai... abhi ek full aur khatam kar sakta hun…

and the best one...

23. Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai

And Finally...

Salla... aaj se daru band...............!!!

Source: Not Known.

But Hats off to the person who compiled all the emotions into words!!

Life as I see it

2010-01-21T04:32:00.002+05:30

Three friends, whom I have known since quite a bit of time, are now sleeping with the fishes, so as to say.

All deceased in three completely unrelated accidents.

Apart from drenching me in despair and creating anathema in me towards the Public Administration system in charge of the roads, it has set me off on an intense train of thought.

What is my life, but a speck of dust in this universe?

What do I hope to live and achieve?

What does my life mean to the world?
Plenty like me die every day and still many come into this world.
What is the objective of this birth?

No, I amn't quoting from The Gita...

The purpose of life as I see it can be broadly split into two windows, the two overlapping often.

One is survival and the other is reproduction.

As I started thinking on these lines, I realized that many of our instincts, actions and emotions are tied firmly to the two.

We feel pain when we are injured or sick. This discomfort or pain helps us realize that it may hamper our survival and help us rectify the cause.

However the average lifetime of a human is 60 years, because the reproductive systems would have been degenerated completely by that time and we would not be able to reproduce.

So, indirectly Nature has no use for us after we are past our sexual prime.

Even love/sexual feelings are maximum during the period where chances of reproduction are highest.

Attraction towards the opposite gender peaks during the age of 18-35, when the hormones manifest themselves and the odds of bearing an offspring are positive.

The joy that it is obtained during fornication induces the person to obtain that satisfaction again and again, increasing the probability of reproduction.

Coincidence? Maybe not!

On a different note, the unconditional and protective love shown by a parent on a child is caused by a desire to propagate their progeny, perhaps more than anything else.

We seek to live in groups, when we think it helps in our survival. And we would fight, when our existence is threatened.

The whole brouhaha behind higher education and earning more money and so on is to land with a good and compatible partner, so that the best possible offspring could be obtained.

The first half of our life focuses on finding the best available partner and the next half deals with making our offspring ready for the same process.

So on, most functions we perform (excluding some inexplicable perversions!) would be to help with survival or reproduction or both.

Some feelings such as hunger, lust, greed have been built into us for specific reasons.

On a broader scale, human life could have been so simpler, with just two primary functions.

But the world is now such a quagmire of emotions, complications and contraptions.

We are messing up our planet in hopes of finding a better place to live, only destroying the present en route.

The feelings are going out of control and hurting others.

But not to worry. Nature has a self-cleaning mechanism every few millennia, obviating any damage done to earth and providing an opportunity to start afresh.

A holistic and subtle understanding of the purpose we are alive, would perhaps help streamline our goals better.

And in the process, we can probably squeeze in a few more seconds, delaying the inevitable apocalypse a teeny-weeny bit.

To quote Pink Floyd

"All in all it's just another brick in the wall.

All in all you're just another brick in the wall."

Note: The author loves and values his parents & friends very much. The sarcastic and detached views expressed here are the result of extreme emotional distress and are of course, not permanent.

Questions w/o Answers ???

2010-01-05T00:25:00.000+05:30

Alcohol may not be the answer to all the questions

….

Swami Vivekananda

But

It helps u to forget the entire question!!

….

Vijay Mallya

The above two quotes vividly depicts my transition from 2009 to 2010.

Happy New Year Guys!!! Have a rocking year ahead!!!

Adieu ;-)

New Year's Eve

2010-01-01T19:33:00.000+05:30

The last day of the year has special aura attached to it. Everything at office is just so calm and serene. There are cakes and chocolates being distributed. People are busy jotting down their New Year’s resolutions. Even I have my entire evening planned. Just arbitrarily thinking how life has changed in last one year, random thoughts about last New Year’s Eve struck me. So, here, I try to pen down the memories of the various New Year’s Eve in last five years.

2004: With a clan of colony friends. Went partying at some stupid place. Don’t even remember the name of the place. The music was bad, the crowd wasn’t good and the food was pathetic.

2005: Night out with group of school friends. Went to a private party at sum club. The night literally rocked.

2006: Four idiots went to Himalayas. Stayed there for 7 days. Drank from dusk to dawn. Did ice-skating. Slept for long hours. Seriously, a nice, long rejuvenating trip.

2007: Went to a disc. Had beer and danced. Got a long smooch at the stroke of midnight. But kept on thinking what my other mates were up to.

2008: With family. Had a huge blueberry cheesecake. And loads of chocolate ice-cream. Was glad to be surrounded by people who cared for me.

2009: Living in this city of strangers, away from home and friends. Planning to go for a private pool side party at some hotel. Hope the night turns out good and happening.

New Year’s Eve is all about being with friends and family. Try spending it with people who care for you.

Adieu :)

Mobile Warz!!

2009-12-29T20:04:00.002+05:30

Mood snapshot: random tag from mail

2009-12-23T11:10:00.001+05:30

1. What is your occupation?

Part Time Vella 2 Full Time Vella

2. What color are your shoes right now?

Black

3. What are you listening to right now ?

Weird Mobile Ringtones buzzing in & around the office

4. What was the last thing that you ate?

Doggy Bun

5. Can you drive a stick shift?

Yes

6. Last person you spoke to on the phone?

ICICI Direct Guy

7. Do you like the person who sent this to you?

8. How old are you today?

9. What is your favorite sport to watch on TV?

Cricket

10. Have you ever dyed your hair?

Nope

11. Favorite food?

Rajma Chawal :)

12. What is the last movie you watched?

Rocket Singh

13. Favorite night of the year?

New Year's Eve...i guess… don't know... :(

14. How do you vent anger?

I hate getting angry!!

15. What was your favorite toy as a child?

Battery operated Robot

16. What is your favorite season?

Chilly winters

17. Cherries or Blueberries?

Cherries

18. Do you want your friends to e-mail you back?

I hardly reply to any email. I would rather call him sumtime.

19. Who is the most likely to respond?

Someone more Vella dan me!!

20. Who is least likely to respond?

My boss!!

21. Living arrangements?

Company Accco… Awesum for many a reasons!!

22. When was the last time you cried?

Recently. Had to do away with the guilt of breaking up…hehehe

23. What is on the floor of your closet?

Clothes… I guess!!

24. Who is the friend you have had the longest that you are sending to?

No one Specific.

25. What did you do last night?

Sleep

26. What are you most afraid of?

Road Accidents – being back some of the most ugly memories of my life :(

27. Plain, cheese, or spicy hamburger?

Spicy Chicken Burger with tons of cheese!

28. Favorite dog breed?

German shepherd – the only pet I ever had.

29. Favorite day of the week?

Friday for sure!!

30. How many states have you lived in?

31. Diamonds or pearls?

Depends on the person wearing dem!!

32. What is your favorite flower?

Orchids.

Adieu :)

Cornflakes of Thoughts!!

2009-12-22T20:22:00.003+05:30

It has been four months since I shifted my base to this city. But a lot has changed in these four months. Random thoughts cruise through my mind as I sit along the beach, gazing at the dark sea, hearing its rumbling thunder. This place is unique, much different from the places I have known for years. The people, the culture, even the pace of life.

But one thing that certainly deserves a mention about this city is the care…..less behavior of the people. People hardly acknowledge your presence unless you get in their way. They hardly recognize the people living next doors. All of them are busy running a race, a kind of race we used to run in nursery, holding a spoon in the mouth, and a lemon placed on it. If you don’t come first, you lose, but if you lose the lemon, you lose the cause of running the race.

Don’t know how this lemon race fits in over here, but wrote it because everything is just so arbit. I sometimes miss home, being with friends I have grown up with, had fun, and roamed about sharing brightest of memories and darkest of secrets. But, even I have chosen to run this lemon race. Hope I would hold on to the lemon and the cause.

Adieu.

Care......less!!

2009-12-21T23:55:00.000+05:30

If you care, you just get disappointed all the time. If you don't care, nothing matters, so you are never upset
- Calvin

Determination of Opening Price of a Stock

2009-12-17T21:04:00.003+05:30

With the opening bell of stock exchange every morning, we usually find an unusual disparity between the opening prices of a stock from its previous day’s closing. Have you ever wondered what causes this variation?

Well, the reason for this difference in prices might be attributed to the role played by the media. Even though the stock exchange closes at 3.30pm, the news channels go round the clock. The investors/traders (buyers & sellers), based on the impact of these news items, place their orders with their respective brokers. Since the exchanges are not active during these non-working hours, these orders have to be settled with the opening of markets. The entire list of the buy and sell orders is being received by the respective exchanges before the opening of the market.

So how do the exchanges narrow down on the opening price of a particular stock? Here the law of supply and demand comes into the picture. Let me try to explain this using the below tabulated data.

	Buyer Data			Seller Data
No. of Shares	Limit Price	Cumulative No. of Shares	No. of Shares	Limit Price	Cumulative No. of Shares
100	105	100	50	101	50
200	104	300	100	102	150
400	103	700	350	103	500
100	102	800	500	104	1000
500	101	1300	100	105	1100

Limit price for a buyer is the maximum price the buyer is willing to pay for a particular stock. Similarly, the limit price for a seller is the minimum price a seller is seeking for a particular stock. The buyer side of table clearly shows the maximum price a buyer is willing for this stock is Rs. 105. On the other hand, the lowest price at which a seller is willing to sell is Rs. 101.

But the aim of the exchanges is to maximize their profits i.e. greater would be the settlements, greater would be the revenue generated. So let us try to understand how this opening price of stock is determined?

Suppose the stock opens @ Rs 101, then we have 1300 potential buyers but only 50 potential sellers. So settlement of only 50 shares can be carried out at this price. Certainly not a very profitable price for stock exchanges. This price clearly demonstrates an excess of demand but a short of supply. Thus, the price chosen is too low as per law of demand & supply.

Had the opening price of stock would have been Rs 105, we would have had 1100 potential sellers but only 100 potential buyers. In this case, supply exceeds demands, showing the opening price is on a higher side.

If the stock would have opened @ 102, we would have had 800 buyers versus 150 sellers. Now, @ 103, we have 700 buyers as compared to 500 sellers. Clearly, we are narrowing down on demand-supply mismatch.

Similarly, @ 104, there would have been 1000 sellers but only 150 buyers. So for the exchanges to maximize their revenue, Rs. 103 seems the most appropriate price resulting in the settlement of 500 shares.

Here only a simple table has been taken to demonstrate the entire process of determination of opening price. In reality, the quantum of pre-market orders is quite large and large networks of computers are used to calculate the opening price based on above mechanism.

So, even in something as volatile as share market, the archaic law of demand and supply holds true!

[via optionsatoz.com]

Missing something in Life?

2009-12-03T11:50:00.004+05:30

I came across this quote y'day:

"We should not go through life as some tourists go through places-
so anxious to see the next sight; the next temple;
the next picture; the next mountain peak;
that we never stop to fill our sense with the beauty of the present one."

This four simple lines left me so dazed, I was pondering what I was missing in my life everyday...
All my life I had been working towards an end, but never enjoying the journey...
While in school, working towards a good college...
All through college, slogging for a cushy job...
When will this cycle end?
Working for something, after getting which I toil still harder for the next milestone...
After I settle down?
2 years? 5 years? 10?
I guess not, for then I would have still more grave responsibilities and much more onus on my part to push harder and harder...

Brrrr.... horrifying thoughts :(

So what's the panacea for this?

Search for the simple joys in everything you do...

Talk often to those who you love and talk still more frequently to those who love you...
Call up a friend you haven't talked to in an year...
Just say " I love you and thanks for everything" to your parents and see their faces glow up
Talk to your first teacher and tell them how you owe a chunk of your success to them
Hang out a bit longer with your friends and thank them for their sweet company
Ring up your beloved when he/she least expects it and say how much you are missing them, even if you have met them y'day

You will slowly see that life isn't as burdened as it would seem to be...
For you have found out the most potent nectar of all...

Love...

It throws down barriers, helps you cross mountains, reach hearts of those hundreds of miles away...
But Love's a funny thing...
The love you give out, you will get back double...

"Let your love flow

outward through

the universe,

To its height, its

depth, its broad

extent.

A limitless love,

without hatred or

enmity.

Then as you stand

or walk,

Sit or lie down,

As long as you are

awake,

Strive for this with

a one-pointed mind;

Your life will bring heaven to earth."

-Sutta Nipata, a Buddhist Scripture

Try it and tell me if it works

GOD!!

2009-11-28T22:14:00.006+05:30

God , to many, is someone, some supernatural power who is worshipped , for being the controller of human life. But when I think about the people worshipping God in form of an idol, I just don’t feel anything. The belief of some supernatural power residing in an idol doesn’t evoke any thought in me. The repeated visits to the temples, during my childhood, being escorted with parents have made me think over and over again. Why do people need to worship God? Do they worship him thinking the failure to do so, would make him angry and he would in return harm them. God doesn’t harm anyone. He created all of us. Have you heard of a mother trying to harm her child?

If at all God exists, he exists in each one of us. Then why do people have to travel thousands for miles for worshipping an idol? God doesn’t reside in an idol, he is everywhere. In air, water, flowers, animals and humans. Every creation of God is divine. Then don’t you think best way to worship God would be worshiping his creations. Many of us have being privileged to be born and brought up in stable and comfortable environment. But many of us haven’t been.